What I've Learned

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some

people are just assholes.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,

unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and

it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to

others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you

think you're finished.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship

is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of

money to take its place.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you

can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.

After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken

from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

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